breaking the depression cycle
Do you ever feel like your life is in a rut? Do you feel like your life is just kind of moving along without you?
My life has been in a rut for a while. Depression takes over sometimes and it becomes hard to do more than just the minimal functions like going to work, eating, taking care of the kids. I tend to regret my days off, its these days that I actually have time to think about my life and realize that it is not quite what i had hoped for.
I tend to do a lot of comparing to others too. Stupid Facebook is the worst! All I am trying to do is kill
some time and I am bombarded with pictures of High School class mates and friends success stories and pictures, new homes, amazing vacations, and exciting experiences. All these wonderful things I wish I had in my life but don’t. I live in a rented apartment, my big amazing vacation consists of camping once during the summer, and exciting experiences… yeah, those are not happening either unless you can count mom loosing her shit and yelling at everyone and wishing that the liquor store could deliver wine, then yeah we have many exciting experiences at my house!!!
Once the depression train starts rolling out of the station it is difficult to stop it. Its a total snowball affect for me. One minute I am comparing my failures to others successes and the next I am laying on the couch in the fetal position trying to figure out why my life sucks so bad, what did i do to deserve such a crappy life?
when I am not throwing a pity party for my self I do know that my life is pretty good. Yeah I don’t own a brand new home but my apartment is cozy, fits my family comfortably and were saving to eventually get our own home one day. We may not be able to go on amazing vacations right now but we make great memories doing the things we can, hanging out with friends, doing projects together and sometimes we do get to go camping and disconnect from the world and reconnect with each other. I feel like my family is making good memories for our children through the experiences we do have, we have family Mario Cart tournaments, we cook together, we build amazing creations with hundreds of Legos spread across the kitchen table and of course many other things.
When depression hits bad it is extremely hard to remember that there are things to be happy about. I have dealt
with depression most of my adult life, off and on for years. Sometimes the depression episode last longer than others, sometimes just a couple of hours or maybe a day, to months at a time. It can be difficult to break the depression cycle but it can be done.
While in collage I found the study of depression fascinating and through research for projects at school and personal trial and error i have found some ways to try to deal with it and shorten the duration of an episode of depression. I am not saying that these work for me every time but, trying is the whole point. Trying to overcome this shows that you recognize what is going on and are trying to make your self better.
I have found that it is hard to think of ways make my self happy when I am depressed so i use a notebook that i jot down ideas in. one of the pages is dedicated to things that make me feel good. This notebook is full of things that make me feel good, things i like to eat, smell, watch, read, people I love anything that I can think of that might make me feel better one day. When i need a little pick me up I know that I have a good go to list of ideas to try.
Some of the ideas that I have are:
- Take a shower.
- Open the windows and let fresh air in
- Get dressed, do makeup and hair
- Eat something
- Read a favorite book
- Call my Grandma
- Paint my nails
- Go outside
- Bake brownies
- Get lost in a video game
- Clean or organize something small
- Watch a favorite movie to TV show
- Do yoga
- Sit in the grass with my shoes off
Make your list and check it twice or three times. Check it whenever you need to remember that there are things that make you happy. I know it is difficult to deal with depression, I know that some days it can be better than others. Any way you get help to overcome and feel better is good as long as you do something. Do what you can yourself, if you can not do it alone, find someone to help, a friend or relative to talk to or a professional.
Here are some additional numbers for help:
|US Suicide Hotline||1-800-784-2433|
|NDMDA Depression Hotline – Support Group||800-826-3632|
|Suicide Prevention Services Crisis Hotline||800-784-2433|
|Suicide Prevention Services Depression Hotline||630-482-9696|